I lived my life with my back against the wall.
The spiral of drugs, alcohol, partying and money became a picture of my life. The more I worked the more I used. At the age of 18 I moved from New Zealand to Australia I was in and out of abusive relationships. I moved in with a guy that I met at a night club and I had two children with him, I believed that we would be a family but instead he became more violent. Occasionally I was suicidal but I loved my two daughters and desperately wanted to give them a better life.
One night I felt the cold steel barrel of a gun on my back, the guy almost pulled the trigger but changed his mind. The next day I saw his face on the news, he was the gunman responsible for the Strathfield massacre.
A pattern had emerged in my life living with controlling and abusive men. It started with my father at a very young age, I was afraid because he would terrorise us every day, in some way. He never showed us any love and didn’t like my mum showing affection either. I got into drinking as I watched both my parents drink, by the age of fifteen I began smoking which led to marijuana use. The lifestyle that my parents led (was reflected) in who I grew to be and the choices that I made.
I attended high school for two years and at the beginning of third year I realised I wasn’t able to cope with the pressure of school, in my frustration I left school and got a full time job. I moved out of home at the age of sixteen, living with guys twice my age getting hooked on marijuana.
I received a flyer to attend the Potter’s House Christian Church in Fairfield. When I stepped foot inside the building, I felt a love from the people there that I had never experienced before. God was there, I committed my life to Christ and discovered what it was to be truly set free and ‘born again’. God healed me of my many wounds and past hurts. Christ came to set the captives free; John 8:36 “therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”
I found belonging, acceptance and safety in Christ. I am a life set free because of Jesus Christ.